Who decides how and who is responsible in the end?
The pregnancy is preparing me for the years ahead as a mother. I already have to make many decision. With each decision there are people critisizing them. Here I am. Learning to make decisions for another human being, something I can only do according to my best knowledge and CONSCIENCE. There is no right or wrong, even though especially critics would like to argue differently.
A family member downrightly attacks me for my decision to “only” do the examinations during my pregnancy that are requested according to the so-called mother-child-pass (a pre-requisite for child benefits in Austria). I have a fantastic doctor of my choice that communicates with the baby and perceives it before putting any ultrasound device in use. Together we smile about the curious creature we sense inside my belly. I have a midwife who herself has given birth to four children, and combines her most inner knowledge with medical expertise.
For me, it is simply not necessary to do an organ screening or nuchal translucency screeing, which could only show suspicion about a possible down syndrome anyhow. It’s wonderful that in Austria we have all these options for women who want to do everything possible to be secure from an academic medicinal point of view that their child will be ok. On the one hand, however, examination results aren’t always accurate. A false diagnosis can lead to much worth consequences than a pregnancy without any further intervention. A majority of defects can be spotted in the normal ultrasound. And if not?…
Is it not us, the affected, that are looking for someone to blame in case of a desease of defect? Maybe something could have been prevented! Why didn’t anyone do something? In the end, it’s the doctors who are made liable for not having done enough. What kind of world are we creating like that? Of course, I feel blessed to live in a country, where caring for pregnant women is part of an extensive welfare system (at least pregnant employees). Still, many of this measures that are meant serve to protect women and their unborn children are sometimes being utilized and used disproportionately. Maybe all of that wouldn’t be necessary if we would live together responsibly, in a healthy community, where everyone contributes freely.
Even if something should be wrong with the baby, termination of pregnancy would not be an option for me. That doesn’t mean I blame women who make use of that possibility. Simply that I don’t want to for myself.
I am actually convinced that women can bear children without “professional” help. It’s the most natural thing in the world after all! Still I have decided to take additional support from my doctor and a midwife. Still? No, it’s BECAUSE of that. I found “professional” assistance that connects inner wisdom with medical expertise. Something that cannot be for granted. I notice, how I need strengthening in the huddle of frightening facts and possibilities of pre-CAUTION. Otherwise the gentle inner voice will be predominated by loud, scary calls from outside. Maybe I should be stronger myself. I am glad, however, I don’t have to be, and grateful for the circle of encouraging people around me – people with expertise, healthy common sense and well-tuned intuition.
during the 24th week